Here's some perfectly accurate dating advice from Todd Lynn. Todd Lynn is dead. Carlos Mencia is not. Anyone else think that's unfair?

Katie Price upskirt [Taxidriver Movie]
Rihanna is see-through [The Nip Slip]
Tila Tequila still exists [The Superficial]
Pros picks for Rashad Evans vs. Phil Davis [Sherdog]
Hilary Duff is still pregnant [Popoholic]
Kim Kardashian got Tebowed [Celebitchy]
James Franco is Hugh Hefner [The Blemish]
Ass men, rejoice [Zoo Today]
Lily Donaldson is 25 [Coed Magazine]
Shit Samuel L. Jackson says [Cityrag]
Beyonce will have a monument [Dlisted]
Jude Law has a new piece [I'm Not Obsessed]
Katherine Heigl is terrible and so is her accent [Moe Jackson]
Gerard Butler is smart, not sleeping on the couch [Popbytes]
Rocio Gancedo lost her top [Egotastic]
Demi Moore once again replaced with a younger model [Allie Is Wired]
Hot girls who like self portraits and attention [The Chive]
Taylor Swift to appear on Ellen with another gay guy she's supposedly dating [Popcrush]
Danny Trejo loves Rihanna [Popcrush]
Nicole Kidman is improved [A Socialite's Life]
Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale staying together [Amy Grindhouse]
Live TV is wonderful [Tabloid Prodigy]
Chelsea Handler is in a back brace, not Joan Rivers' fault [Huffington Post]
Adrianne Curry is accurate [Hollywood Tuna]
Kim Kardashian is sad, can't move her face [Celebuzz]
Russell Brand is already upgrading [Celebslam]
Demi Moore was on bath salts [Evil Beet]

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If you take every drug in front of you and seizure out on the floor, please make sure whoever calls 911 for you is able to repeat your address for the first five minutes of the call and is really able to say it phonetically and really slowly because Los Angeles dispatchers like to talk over you and are kinda dumb. They also might be Caesar Milan.
TMZ reports:

TMZ has obtained the 911 call placed moments before Demi Moore was rushed to an L.A. hospital Monday night -- where she was treated for inhaling too much nitrous oxide ... aka whip-its. As we first reported, any references to Demi's drug use have been redacted from the 911 call -- despite the TMZ story ... paramedics on scene were told by Demi's friends the actress had been doing whip-its. After she was rushed to the hospital, Demi was placed in a facility for substance abuse treatment.

You can LISTEN TO IT HERE, but long story short, Demi Moore smoked sativa , did whip-its, convulsed, then her friends poured cold water on her and killed her buzz. What jackasses!

There's not a minute to spare:

Adriana Lima is in St. Barts shooting for Victoria's Secret, and it might be hard to tell, but in 2009 she had a kid. She hasn't had once since. Is her husband gay? It seems like she should have a lot more than that.

Through black magic or roofies or what have you, Lady Gaga somehow managed to land Taylor Kinney. turns out that may not last too long. In Touch reports:

Lady Gaga‘s boyfriend of six months, Taylor Kinney, has told her to check her alter ego at the door when she’s with him. “Gaga started living and breathing her character 24/7 because she felt her fans wanted that,” dishes a source to In Touch. Too bad Tyler, 30, didn’t. While he held his tongue at first, he’s now comfortable enough with Gaga, 25, to make it clear he has no desire to live with a stage act. “Taylor has convinced her that he loves the real Stefani,” says an insider to In Touch. Luckily for him, the singer promised to be “more human” — after all, she wasn’t born that way!

Wait, so you mean an allegedly bullied, egg dwelling, pandering woman from New York City with an inexplicable British accent and penchant for stealing chord progressions from Madonna tracks wasn't being herself? Far be it from me to defend Lady Gaga for anything, but this dude knew what he was in for from the get go considering they met on the set of her shitty videos. The only thing he should ask that she change is her face. And even then, he can always just be a gentleman and grab the paper bag himself.

And Red Bull. But not carbs. Radar Online reports:

Demi Moore will be seeking treatment for anorexia and her substance abuse addictions, and RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that Adderall is the prescription drugs that she uses. “Demi has been taking Adderall and drinking energy drinks and starving herself and those are some of the serious causes that led her to collapse on Monday night,” a source close to the actress said. As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Demi had an epileptic seizure before being rushed to the hospital and she is currently seeking treatment for anorexia. “The pills and starvation destroyed Demi and this has been a problem for about a year,” the source said about her tragic situation. “She’s constantly jacked up on Adderall and combining that with not eating accounts for her loopy behavior and anorexic body frame. She literally refuses to eat any food.”

On the bright side, Demi Moore upgraded her drugs (and probably her self-perception) from that of a high school freshman to that of a college one. Give her some more time and she might even realize she can rent a car without a cosigner and buy kegs for rush week!

Once again, here's Kate Beckinsale promoting MILFWorld: The Awakening this time at the Berlin premiere. Goddamn, she's hot. She's hot right? I mean, I think we're all secure with ourselves enough to say that, right? C'mon, ladies. Say it. Kate Beckinsale is hot. No, don't be like that. Just say it...you can do it...say it with me...there you go. That wasn't so bad was it? Now don't you feel better? Awww, that's okay. You know daddy's here to help don't you, baby?

Ladies, some advice from Kate (please read carefully):

"I'm the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can't be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I'd rather he didn't order in the sex."

"I don't like to walk around wearing no make-up with my hair rolled on top of my head on my days off. I think my husband would be a bit bummed out if I did. It's nice to feel like you're wooing the other person a bit, as once it degenerates into wearing yesterday's sweatpants and farting on the sofa, you lose a bit of the spice. You've got to keep up the seduction phase - it's fun."

I think what looks like a syphilitic chancre is actually red velvet deliciousness [Taxidriver Movie]
Vintage Sofia Vergara bikini footage [The Nip Slip]
Lindsay Lohan got sued [The Superficial]
Mark Wahlberg is a hero [Sherdog]
Adriana Lima is in a bikini [Popoholic]
Taylor Swift is an idiot [Celebitchy]
Pat Sajak confirms what we all knew [The Blemish]
Girls who know what Twitter is for [Zoo Today]
Helena Christensen is 43 and looks like this. brb, starving myself [Coed Magazine]
Gwen Stefani may be single soon [Cityrag]
Vanessa Hudgens acting like no one's seen her naked [Dlisted]
Dita von Teese is still alive [I'm Not Obsessed]
Georgia Salpa dresses appropriately [Moe Jackson]
Kim Kardashian may be reading this [Popbytes]
Rihanna is see-through [Egotastic]
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will marry soon [Allie Is Wired]
This made me think I started drinking already [The Chive]
Oprah is Blue Ivy's godmother [Popcrush]
Drake wants to act again [Popcrush]
Shit Liz Lemon says [A Socialite's Life]
Lea Michele is trying too hard [Amy Grindhouse]
Jimmy Fallon is a feminist [Tabloid Prodigy]
Katy Perry coming out of hiding [Huffington Post]
Miranda Kerr in leather [Hollywood Tuna]
Demi Moore is still a cougar [Celebuzz]
Gisele Bundchen is rich as hell [Celebslam]
Jennifer Love Hewitt is a Photoshopped [Evil Beet]

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Here's the second batch of pics of Amanda Seyfried on the set of Lovelace, and it's the second time that Amanda Seyfried isn't giving some dude head. What's that about? Why is she leaning against a car? Why is she so pale? Did the doctor give her bad news about her thyroid?

I've been meanin' to tell you/you've got this Grave's disease that won't subside/I look at you and I fantasize/what's up with your eyes?