Times are hard right now for Debbie Rowe after her business transaction relationship involving embryos with Michael Jackson has come to an end, but don't worry, she is protected my the magical power of the wolf. That's right, the wolf! Not only does this t-shirt say you're a mysterious loner who was born to roam, it gives you the power to do badass shit like stick your hand up a horse's ass. And if your t-shirt happens to have three wolves howling at the moon, well then sir, watch out. Watch out.

Sorry, couldn't help it:

I realize her makeup looks like it was put on with something Homer Simpson made, but holy shit, Kim Kardashian's body is sick. If she wasn't such a vapid whore, I might try to holla at her. And I only say "holla" because that's like a mating call she's used to I think. I might also have to cover my self in the scent of Swisher Sweets and cocoa butter, but let's be honest, I pretended to like Dave Mattews Band to titty fuck this chick named Nikki, so let's don't start giving me too much credit.

Although Transformers launched her into superstardom, Megan Fox is channeling her inner Katherine Heigl and is taking every opportunity to piss all over it. Us Magazine reports:

Fox told Entertainment Weekly: "I mean, I can't shit on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don't want to blow smoke up people's ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting."

And although it's not as big as mine, director Michael Bay pulled his dick out and slapped her with it:

"Well, that's Megan Fox for you," Bay tell the Wall Street Journal. "She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do. "You roll your eyes when you see statements like that and think, 'Okay Megan, you can do whatever you want. I got it,'" he goes on..."Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in Transformers," he says. "I like to think that I've had some luck in building actors' careers with my films."

As much as I like to explore her anus like Ponce de León, I've slowly come to the realization that this chick says a lot of dumb shit and she's never gonna leave Brian Austin Green no matter what she tells me. The imaginary sex is great, but quite frankly, so is a delmonico steak. The only difference is, I've actually tasted a delmonico steak. So, Megan, you know that number you had blocked and reported to the police? Yeah, it's never calling you again! Haha, suck on that Megan!

This site has sorely been lacking tits lately, so Peta Todd and her perfect 30F's are here to change all that. In case you were wondering, Peta was a hairdresser in Essex before she was discovered by The Sun and became a Page 3 girl at 18. She's posed in FHM and Nuts, and once rode 400 miles on a bicycle for charity. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but at best, it will give you two something to talk about while you masturbate.

You can check out the rest of the gallery HERE (NSFW), but be warned, you might fall in love.

When you're born into fame and privilege, it's easy to become disillusioned with America and how you had to struggle to overcome obstacles such as daddy cutting off your credit card or having to wake up before noon. Gwyneth Paltrow has obviously suffered more than Harriet Tubman, because every time she opens her damn mouth, it's all about how much she hates America and how stupid Americans are. She just gave a recent interview. You'll never guess what she said! New York Daily News reports:

"Spain has become a second home," Paltrow said. "Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C. It's incredible. "Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren't running around as much as in New York. "They enjoy time with the family. They don't always have their BlackBerries on." Paltrow lived in Spain briefly as a teen and is fluent in Spanish. The 36-year-old star, who is married to Coldplay singer Chris Martin, wants her two kids, Apple and Moses, to speak Spanish as well.

Man, it really must suck to live in a country where you're handed everything you've ever accomplished then be allowed to tell everyone who will listen how bad that country sucks. At this point, Paltrow should just drive through Manhattan in an M41 with Putin and Ahmadinejad while waving a North Korean flag. You know, just so people won't get the wrong idea.

Denise Richards. Bikini. Cameltoe. [Egotastic]

Elizabeth Berkley is see through [Taxidriver Movie]

Awkward celebrity boners [Cityrag]

Cheryl Tweedy dresses appropriately [Popoholic]

12 TV characters you never see [College Humor]

Stop trying to make Summer Glau happen [Hollywood Tuna]

Kevin Jonas doesn't have to jerk off to Selena Gomez anymore. [Fatback Media]

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I have no idea what or who this video is for, but it's two minutes of a naked Bar Refaeli writhing on a couch, so it could be an ad for drowning puppies or pyromania, and I think I'd be okay with it. Not really sure why they used some music that Jennifer Aniston probably listens to when she feeds the garden hose in her tailpipe through her window, but that's really not a dealbreaker. Especially since I became a recent fan of tan lines. As previously stated, it'll just make it easier for me to find it in the dark.

Since pictures have been scarce lately, I'm making this post a Bar Refaeli blowout out bonanza! Oh, btw, depending on where you work, this video may be considered NSFW. Much like your erection:

At this point, anything is better than IDLYITW being the Thriller video it's been for the past two weeks, so here's Jessica Simpson and Tony Overthrowmo (get it?! haha) at the AT&T National in Bethesda, Md. yesterday where she sang something. The fact that Tiger Woods, one of the most dominant athletes in the history of sports (and one of my personal favs - vicious off the tee, married to a hot former model, etc.) had to condescend to take a picture with these two losers isn't lost on me, but damn she's squeezed into that damn dress. I never ever thought I'd say this, but if she kept that dress on, there's a good chance I'd fuck her so fast my penis would look like a tuning fork.