Ha ha ha, you creepy bastard! TMZ reports:

Boy band man Lou Pearlman -- the guy who made the Backstreet Boys and 'NSYNC famous -- just got 25 years in the big house for money laundering and conspiracy, among other shady shit. Big Lou pleaded guilty back in March to a long, complicated con game that basically pumped up his net worth and cheated other people out of millions. The judge gave him the maximum sentence."

In addition to money laundering and stealing other people's money, Lou Pearlman's other hobbies include child molestation and wheezing when trying to move. I'd like to congratulate Lou in advance for his prison "Most Popular" award. Good job, Lou!


Photos: Splash

Britney Spears was driving down Sunset Blvd. in Beverly Hills yesterday and BREAKING NEWS!: She can't fucking drive. TMZ reports:

Brit hit a red Ford Explorer, driven by a lady. No injuries, as far as we know -- Britney didn't even get out of the car. Her bodyguard got out and talked to the other woman. The red Explorer Brit hit is now following her back to Britney's home. Britney was stopped at a light and, for some reason, accelerated when the light was still red, hitting the Explorer stopped in front of her, causing minor damage."

Is there ever going to come a time when somebody is gonna say, "Hey, maybe driving isn't Britney's thing." and take her damn keys away? You could get in a bumper car and hit less stuff than this idiot. I think we have enough evidence to rule that the only way Britney Spears should be allowed on the road is if she's being pulled by a wagon.

Aaron Carter was arrested in Kimble County, Texas yesterday after police found two ounces of marijuana in his car. TMZ reports:

TMZ has confirmed Aaron was pulled over on I-10 earlier today for speeding -- and when authorities decided to search his vehicle, they found the fat stash inside! Aaron, 20, is currently in jail until tomorrow, when a judge will be present for his arraignment."

Aaron Carter is a wigger from way back, so I'm kinda surprised this didn't happen sooner. He also got his big break on the Disney channel, and you know how those stories usually turn out (if you don't, see here, here, here, and here.) At this point, I'd have more respect for parents if they shot heroin into their child's juicebox than if they took them on an audition for Hannah Montana.