Victoria's Secret model and legendary piece of ass, Adriana Lima, announced today on her MySpace that she got married to retired NBA guard Marko Jaric in Wyoming on Valentine's Day. I guess this is only news because Lima has long claimed that she would remain a virgin until she was married. Hey, Marko. Fuck you.

Hello!
By this point, some people know about my big news! Yes, I like to keep my life personal but I did become married on Valentine Day to the love of my life. I am SO happy inside and I want to spread my love!
The marriage was very small and not most friends and family could attend because it was a quick decision. Luckily, we will be having another wedding this summer that will be a bigger event!
We have not decided where it will be because my family is in Brasil and Marko is from Serbia. It will be great no matter where!
And finally, there are rumors of me pregnant. I just cannot say.. YET! .
beijos!!!
adri

I have no clue what this has to do with the story, but Jaric once played for a team called Kinder Bologna. I'm sure that means something more threatening wherever he's from, but in American it sounds like something off a pre-school lunch menu. I didn't look it up, but I'm going to assume their logo is a Panda and smiling sunshine face drinking a glass of milk.

Note: Yes, I know the body in the banner picture doesn't belong to Adriana Lima. It's an ass in the air. I hope you have some kind of point you're trying to make here.

I guess Adriana Lima is going to be in Elle March this year, or something.

I'm watching James Gandolfini crying in front of Julia Roberts in The Mexican. He just said: "Whuddya lookin' at?" and she said "It's beautiful." Then I switched over to watching Live Free Or Die Hard, because The Mexican is a movie that has Brad Pitt and James Gandolpfini in it, but it never stops being a weepy Julia Roberts romance. If I wanted to see that, I'd rent Pretty Woman. Because it was only good the first time.

Anyway, Adriana Lima is hot. And Brazilian.

Not that anyone cares, but I'll be gone for about a week starting tomorrow and Dave will be updating the site for me. I've never met Dave, but his profile on manhunt.com says that he's into celebrity gossip and archery, so with any luck, you'll be dazzled by celebrity photos and tricks of daring and wonder! I bet you can hardly wait!!

Well, it's officially afternoon in NC so I'm ready to start drinking. But first, we'd like to take a minute to toast all of our readers for making 2008 another great year. We'll be back on Friday, so be on the look out for some of the new things we have planned for 2009 (hint: we'll be posting on weekends, bitches!) So have fun tonight, be safe, and drink one for me. Oh, and if you get arrested, don't worry about it. It's not like it's your fault that the Vietnamese prostitute couldn't pronounce the safe word. What are you, an English teacher all of a sudden?

Victoria's Secret had their annual fashion show this weekend. You won't see it on television until December where it'll be choked to death by commercials on CBS or whatever the network of choice is this year.

In order for me to be entertained by it I'm going to pretend it's almost naked Iron Chef America. Adriana Lima is Bobby Flay. She's always pretty and is full of spice, but too much cilantro, too much bite. Marisa Miller is Chef Masaharu Morimoto. Very clean and fit, and will win any challenge unless the secret ingredient is ground beef. Heidi Klum is Mario Batali. Always delicious, always hot and oozing sexy. The rest of them are Cat CacaCora. Models who will never win, but are good enough to taste and get washed down with Ouzo, or politely spit into a cloth napkin.

Fun Dip:

When I was able to lift my head out of the toilet yesterday, I cursed death for not coming swiftly, then I had some crackers. I'm not sure why you need to know that, but these pictures of Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Karolina Kurkova, and Marisa Miller on a Victoria's Secret shoot is probably the closest thing to my version of heaven. And I only say "closest" because nowhere in these pictures am I holding aloft a magic sword.

So, here are some lingerie shots of Adriana Lima and Doutzen Kroes from the Victoria's Secret "Supermodel Obsession" book. I'm not in advertising, but almost naked hot chicks is probably a good way to get people to buy things. In fact, it might be the best way. If they made Adriana Lima the face of anal landmines, I'd probably buy at least one in every color.

Victoria's Secret model and legendary piece of ass, Adriana Lima, is engaged after her boyfriend, Minnesota Timberwolves guard, Marko Jaric, proposed Thursday. Fun fact: Adriana Lima has repeatedly said that she is a virgin and would remain one until her wedding night. People reports:

He asked and she said yes. They are both incredibly happy and couldn't be more in love," says publicist James Weir. Lima, who turned 27 on Thursday, and Jaric, 29, who plays for the Minnesota Timberwolves, have been dating for about nine months. The normally stoic Serb sports star has admitted he fell hard for the Victoria's Secret beauty. "I was not the person to fall in love easily. I am a difficult person from that standpoint," he told PEOPLE in March. "Now, it's a little different situation."

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