Alessandra Ambrosio was in St. Barths doing a shoot for Victoria's Secret yesterday, and there shouldn't be a question at this point that she is one of the most beautiful women in the world. The only question at this point is will my Kicked Up Chocolate Cream Pie win the blue ribbon at the State Fair this year?! Wish me luck guys, I'm so nervous!!!

Only one of the hottest pieces on earth can make eating cake some kind of internet foreplay, so good thing these aren't pictures of Kelly Clarkson. Because it would be pretty obvious she would be singing "C is for Cake" and chewing through the plate.

It goes without saying that Victoria's Secret model, Alessandra Ambrosio is one of the hottest women on Earth. It also goes without saying that my bowties make me look like a gentleman. My granny says I'm such a catch!

I was up way too early this morning, so when I finished painting my miniature Civil War figurines (what amazing detail on my Union Mounted Officer! He's so lifelike!), I decided to use the Internet for what it was intended - to look for pictures of hot chicks in bikinis. Specifically, the insanely hot piece, Alessandra Ambrosio. She just had a baby, but you'd never know. So, enjoy. You know, since you're not allowed to have coffee at the office anymore, dude. Didn't you know? Coffee's for closers only.

Alessandra Ambrosio is the other Victoria Secret/Brazillian model that is going to be in the march pages of Elle Magazine, and although she doesn't get to roll around in my bed like Adriana Lima got to yesterday, she does get some much cooler clothing, which would be great if I were having some clothing contest for hot Brazilian underwear models.

But, if you're going to have a contest with hot Brazilian underwear models, it should at least be an underwear contest or nothing more. I might not know anything about Elle's readership, but I want to apply to be their Photo Editor. I shouldn't need a resume, I should just be able to pitch: "More Brazilian models."

That's not funny because it isn't a joke. Hire me, print journalism, before you die!



[FashionSpot] via [ONTD]

Alessandra Ambrosio is in St. Barts this week as part of Victoria's Secret apparent hot ass convention down there, and I don't know about you, but I think I might be in love. So, sorry about this morning with Megan Fox, Alessandra. She wouldn't leave me alone and I kinda felt sorry for her so I let her blow me. It wasn't my fault. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can ever know it?

When I was able to lift my head out of the toilet yesterday, I cursed death for not coming swiftly, then I had some crackers. I'm not sure why you need to know that, but these pictures of Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Karolina Kurkova, and Marisa Miller on a Victoria's Secret shoot is probably the closest thing to my version of heaven. And I only say "closest" because nowhere in these pictures am I holding aloft a magic sword.

Alessandra Ambrosio showed up at a lingerie photoshoot four months pregnant, so I guess that means she's keeping the baby. Fine, whatever. I already told her I had new girlfriend, so I don't know why she has to make this all weird. God, Alessandra! Why does everything have to be about you?!?