Bitter, scorned women everywhere are tossing their Haagen-Dazs in the air and high-fiving each other today, because The Daily Mail is reporting that Brad Pitt's relationship with Angelina Jolie is falling apart and to console himself, he's running back to Aniston.

Brad Pitt is said to have held a secret meeting with his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston during a recent trip to New York. The pair, who ended their five-year marriage in 2005, met up at a hotel in the city for an hour where Brad unloaded his emotional baggage, according to Grazia magazine. The Hollywood star allegedly told Aniston about his relationship problems with Angelina Jolie, whom he hooked up with after walking out on the Friends actress. It comes amid reports that Brad and Jennifer are in regular phone contact and - if true - their latest encounter marks their second private meeting together in the Big Apple this year. A source told Grazia that Jennifer agreed to visit Brad in his suite at the Essex House hotel, next to Central Park. 'She arrived at his hotel suite a matter of hours after they had spoken. Brad was unloading his emotional baggage on Jen, which isn't exactly fair considering their history.' But the source added: 'She was quick to tell him she wanted no part in his break-up with Angelina.' At first she was reported to be reluctant to meet with her former husband.
But the magazine alleges Brad got his mother Jane - who is famously still close to Jen - to persuade her to meet with him and give some advice. It comes amid claims that his four-year relationship with Angelina has hit the rocks.

To reiterate, Brad Pitt has been banging Angelina Jolie for four years. Angelina. Jolie. I'm surprised his penis didn't walk in that room and take a hostage. And I can't speak for lonely women, but taking back the guy who cheated on you is kinda pathetic. Even if he is an A-list actor or has a fancy job at Nortel. Ooh la la.

While on set of her new movie with Gerard Butler, The Bounty, Jennifer Aniston was caught crying in her trailer. And you'll never guess why!! I was so shocked!!! New York Post reports:

The unlucky-in-love actress was late coming out of her trailer while filming "The Bounty" with Gerard Butler a few weeks ago. The source tells Page Six that when an assistant went to fetch Aniston, she was in tears, and said, "I need a moment. This scene reminds me of Brad and me." Aniston pulled herself together and managed to put on a smile when she eventually emerged from her trailer. The insider added, "While she enjoyed flirting with Gerard on set and put a brave face on every day, privately she is still very fragile."

Due to their deep psychic and emotional love connection, Brad Pitt felt a disturbance in the soul of his one true love so he rushed to the set to console her and sweep her in his arms. And by that I mean he put his penis in Angelina Jolie:

Meanwhile, Pitt's looking to buy property surrounding his and Angelina Jolie's French estate, Chateau Miraval, to build an airport so the family can fly in and out unseen by paparazzi. Brangelina plunked down $60 million for the 1,000-acre estate in the South of France, which features 35 bedrooms, a vineyard, lake, forest and a moat. A source said, "One thing he loves about the estate is the privacy it affords. Nobody can get near it. So with Angelina completing her pilot's license, their own airstrip would give them total freedom to come and go."

My dentist reads this site, and some of the ladies in his office are gonna give me hell for this next week, but seriously Jennifer. Get over it. It's been four years. Shark attack victims have a faster recovery time than you. Every time I get a chick pregnant then tell her that I'm going to the store to get some bread then don't come back, it reminds me of my dad. But you don't see me crying about it.

I think Jennifer Aniston really needs to ask Propecia the Crack Ho how to get over this (NSFW language):



Jennifer Aniston at the premiere of her newest blockbuster, Love Happens. Wait, $9M in five days is a blockbuster, right? Oh, wait. :

As you might have already guessed, Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds kicked ass at the box office this weekend, raking in $65M. Variety reports:

Quentin Tarantino’s WWII tale "Inglourious Basterds" conquered the worldwide B.O., which was welcome news for the Weinstein Co. and Universal as the pic opened to an impressive $37.6 million domestically and $27.1 million more overseas. Pic marks a key win that could yield a new franchise for TWC and Universal Pictures Intl., who are 50-50 partners on "Basterds." The timing is good for both companies. Investors have been putting pressure on TWC to shore up its financials, while U has sustained a series of box office disappointments. Worldwide opening of $65.1 million makes "Basterds" anything but.

Say what you want about Tarantino, but he makes movies people want to see. And that's really kinda the point. Look, I'm sorry your movie about the lesbian Eskimo and her paraplegic gay friend fighting poverty and intolerance in their mobile home park or whatever people go see to seem smart didn't make this list, but they should have thought about that when the script didn't mention exploding Nazis.

Diane Kruger at the NYC screening of Inglourious Basterds. I'd hit it:

As you already know, a lot of actors star in commercials for overseas companies because if you want an extra Gulfstream to carry your dogs around on vacation, the Japanese will pay you like $2M to pimp watches or banks. Like Brad Pitt is doing here for Softbank. Usually anything on Japanese television is sheer, unadulterated insanity, so prepare to be disappointed. I didn't really know what a Sumo wrestler and Brad Pitt riding on tricycles with a Komodo dragon on their heads trying to eat the most marshmallows in the allotted time had to do with a bank, but I fully expecting to see that.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie attended the Los Angeles premiere of Inglorious Basterds at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood yesterday, and holy shit Angelina looked fantastic. Seriously, if these pictures don't give you a raging hard on, you might want to have somebody check your pulse. Because there's a good chance you've been bitten by a zombie.

This may come as a complete shock I know, but Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie donated $1 million to help with the relief aid of the misplaced people of Pakistan. Us Magazine reports:

The head of the agency, António Guterres, thanked the Jolie-Pitt Foundation for the generous donation, calling Pakistan's plight "the most challenging humanitarian crisis of the past decade." (More than 2 million people are currently displaced in the country.) Since becoming a goodwill ambassador for the agency in 2001, Jolie has visited refugees in Pakistan three times. (She took Pitt with her on a 2005 trip.)

In other news, Jennifer Aniston bought new collars for her cats. They sparkle! Imagine that, they sparkle!

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie attended the premiere of Pitt's new film, Inglorious Basterds, at the 62nd Cannes Film Festival yesterday, but the big news is that Angelina showed up in a kinda see through dress. And it was completely unnecessary. Not that I'm complaining, but Angelina Jolie in a see through dress is like The Flash with a nitrous kit in his car or a ninja with a lightsaber. It isn't going to make much difference. The only way Angelina could be any hotter is if she was literally on fire.

John Mayer is reportedly in negotiations to write a tell-all book about his relationship with actress(?) Jennifer Aniston. Guess what name she called him in bed? Oh, I know! I couldn't believe it either. Star Magazine reports:

"John just can't keep his mouth shut," a pal tells Star, "and he's telling friends that he's thinking of going public with all their juicy secrets." So just what embarrassing info could John reveal? Well the fella who held an impromptu press conference on a New York City street the first time they split has a lot to say, as we detail in in our magazine. For one, Jen made a slip of the tongue calling John "Brad"... while they were in bed! He also knows all about her obsessive exercise regime, embarrassing TV viewing habits, devotion to astrology and numerology and has witnessed the actress throw fits! Then there's the whole thing about their sex play...

I realize this story is coming from Star, but seriously, is there anybody out there who doesn't believe this is 100% true? If you're one of those people, sorry. You're kind of an idiot. This chick can't sit down for an interview without without mentioning Brad Pitt so of course she's gonna pretend Brad still wants to have sex with her. I hate to break the news, but he doesn't. He really, really doesn't. Seriously, let that marinate. Because, well sweetie, shark attack victims have a faster recovery time than you.

Faces of annoying: