They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I think they were talking about this picture.

Brock Hogan released the cover art for her new album yesterday, and yes, this really is what she came up with. This. I appreciate the fact that they chose "female" for the neck down, but damn this shit looks like a prize you'd win at a balloon dart throw. I had an interview set up, but the guy who made this was unavailable for comment because he was airbrushing a picture of Tupac as Jesus at that stand outside Lids.

In case her concert wasn't sexxxy enough, Brock Hogan swung around on a stripper pole for some reason. I don't have the pictures, but after this she put baby Tarzan on her back and swung from a tree and swatted planes down from the Empire State building. You go, Brooke! Work it, girl!

Who in the hell knows why, but Brooke Hogan performed at Calle Ocho 2009 in Miami on Sunday. In related news, the NFL Players Association elected its new Executive Director on Sunday, too. He is expected bring in progressive ideas to avoid a possible 2011 labor strike. I can't seem to shake the feeling that these two are somehow related.

My other job as a secret government assassin is normally pretty flexible, so sorry for just posting in the morning yesterday. In the business of death, you have to make those hard decisions, and sometimes things get left behind. Like these pictures of Brooke Hogan at the Grammys. I know I said big tits are great, but it helps if whatever is attached to them doesn't just have trace amounts of estrogen. I appreciate the effort sweetie, I do, but when all you have to do is spray paint this bitch green and she could go fight crime with Iron Man and Spider-Man, D-cups aren't really that much of a selling point.

Hulk Hogan has spent untold millions and secured his daughter her own reality show to buy Brock Hogan a career as a pop singer. How's it going you may ask? Tampa Bay's The Juice says:

Brooke and her VH1 handlers are shooting an episode of Brooke Knows Best at the Florida State Fair on Feb. 6. Buy your tickets now! Wilson Media tells tbt* and The Juice* that the deal is "90 percent done," but Hogan is "due to wrestle" Rick Flair's son in a circus tent after the last show of the day by Circus Hollywood.

I hope no one is upset that Brock Hogan* career consists of wrestling dudes in circus tents in between hormone treatments. I mean, I hate the whole Hogan family, so this works out pretty well for me. If I ran over Nick Hogan by accident I'd jump out of my truck and start doing the robot and giving bystanders high-fives to make them think I did it on purpose.

Nice legs. Maybe somebody should tie them together and make a raft:



*fixed - Todd

The above video is being passed around the internet as a leaked "Brooke Hogan" cover. I didn't know people were leaking Brooke Hogan covers, but there is a definite reason why: It blows.

Here's a hint for all you aspiring pop stars out there: stay way from home recordings. You can't pitch-correct yourself, you're not accompanied by any air-brushed artwork and - here's the important part - very few people care about a professional wrestler's daughter, turned F-list reality TV star, turned failed pop singer.

Anyway, it's really bad, as is her face in these pictures of her rollerblading. Like you were planning to look at her face...

Nick Hogan was released from a Florida county jail this morning after serving 6 months of an 8 month sentence for felony reckless driving that left his passenger, Iraq war veteran, John J. Graziano, a permanent vegetable. Try not to punch the first thing you see. TMZ reports:

Nick Hogan was released from Pinellas County Jail just after midnight Tuesday morning. We're told he arrived back at his mom Linda's house to a thumping party, replete with loud music and cops surveying the scene. Nick pleaded no contest to a felony charge of reckless driving involving serious bodily injury back in May. He was sentenced to eight months but only served the aforementioned 166 days due to "good time" credit. His best friend, John Graziano, remains hospitalized and will require medical care the rest of his life."

In case you missed that, Nick Hogan was welcomed back to Clearwater with a big, loud party thrown by his worthless, enabling mother. If John J. Graziano was able to form a thought, I bet he'd be totally cool with that. Especially since one of things his doctors can figure out to do with his head is "collect sea shells." That's so much fun!

Note: Be sure to check out this video of the tearful reunion between Nick and Brock. You know, the two people in this story who can walk.





Photos: Splash