Apparently there's a book called Rankin’s Heidilicious, and in that book is pages filled with naked pictures of Heidi Klum. Maybe if the Bible would have thought of that we wouldn't be in this mess right now. Nice work, God.


CLICK ON THE BANNER PIC TO SEE GOD's LOVE

I have no idea why I haven't moved to Great Britain yet, because with Kelly Brook, Gemma Atkinson, Lucy Pinder, Sophie Howard, Keeley Hazell, Vikki Blows, and Lauren, God seemed to mark that island as the land flowing with hot white chicks with big tits. Like Rosie Jones. I guess the only reason I haven't moved there yet is because I hate Socialism and Muslims. No, wait, I meant effeminate pansies with bad teeth. No, no I meant nannies who practice witchcraft. Crap, I'm not really good at this am I?

CLICK ON THE BANNER PIC TO BE TRANSPORTED TO A MAGICAL LAND OF WONDERS

Vikki Blows is really the only British model who doesn't have the X-Man power of a gigantic rack, but she's also one of the hottest. She's slutty and looks like she'd burn you with a car cigarette lighter if you didn't lick it right, and that has my penis intrigued. Because the possibility of having sex with this chick then waking up with a pentagram carved in your chest and her placing candles around a severed head on the dresser is way more hotter than my sex tape DVD commentary. Me explaining why I'm crying and apologizing wasn't really as cathartic as I had hoped.

Click on the banner pic to prematurely ejaculate (NSFW)

Shauna Sand is no longer fighting the release of her sex tape that Vivid Entertainment shot professionally with her consent found and has officially signed off on it's distribution. TMZ reports:

Steven Hirsh, the co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment, brought in a handwriting expert to prove Shauna had in fact signed off on the tape -- and after meeting with her on Thursday, he says she's withdrawn the cease and desist letter her lawyer sent Vivid earlier this month. Hirsh says Shauna's reason for withdrawing the letter was because a lawsuit could prove "long and expensive." Riiiiiiiight.

Yeah, that's what it was. She didn't want to get tied down with all those legal fees for the non-existent lawsuit that she was going to file. I know she probably thinks she's gonna need a dragon's cave to keep all the money she's gonna make from all this, but keep in mind, she used to look like this (NSFW), now she looks like something Grendel attacked. She might want to invest in a time machine and make another tape, because I'm not gonna lie, I'd rather jack off to a stack of firewood.

Click on the banner pic to see the uncensored covered and HERE to screencaps (NSFW/L)

I have no idea who "Lauren" is, but she's on next month's cover on Front magazine as Britain's Fittest Student Body. I really hope she's into Patron shots and awkward anal, because I'm not gonna lie, I might be in fucking love.


CLICK ON THE BANNER PIC TO SEE ALL 16 NSFW IMAGES

Note: Not to sound crass, but yes, I would eat it like my mama made it.

Today is boring as hell, so while I'm waiting for the apparent carrier pigeon to deliver some actual gossip to the internet, here's the insanely hot UK girl Rosie Jones and her damn near perfect rack. Skinny brunettes with big tits could literally make me do anything at any time, except in Boston. That place is a like corral of the damned of pale, pointy chicks in all black on the way to Dunkin' Donuts or Mike's Pastry for the third time that day. I could throw a rock in any direction on Glenwood Avenue and pick out a N.C. State blonde to take to Boston, and not only would I be able to kill someone with a trident in centerfield during a red Sox game, they'd give me the key to the city and make me mayor.

Click on the banner pic to see the rest of the NSFW pics

Vivid Entertainment has released the cover of Shauna Sand's completely thought out and calculated decision to film herself getting fucked then pretend it was stolen in order to make money and get attention sex tape, and boy does this look like all the sex tapes I've ever made. Without the professional lighting, makeup, duct tape, and screams that no one will ever be able to hear no matter how loud you scream, it'd be almost like I'm looking in a mirror!

Click on the banner pic to see the uncensored covered or here to see a preview of what it looks like when reanimated mummy corpses hire a professional porn crew to make their sex tape.

If you don't watch the insanely awesome Californication, number one you're an idiot, and number two, you missed actress Eva Amurri (Susan Sarandon's daughter) and her fantastic rack last night. There's so much sex in this show that after season two David Duchovny had to go to rehab for sex addiction. Unlike the time I went to rehab for my addiction to Fashion Plates. Create fashionable outfits in minutes!

CLICK ON THE BANNER PIC TO SEE ALL NSFW IMAGES

Note: Hi, person in Dallas. She has bug eyes and no talent. Thanks for leaving 5 of the 7 comments so far saying the same thing. Instead of commenting again, you can just assume that your point has been duly noted. You know, five times.